Posts in self-help
Original Skepticism

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Are people more skeptical than ever? Or are certain groups more skeptical than others when it comes to science, religion or certain knowledge? When is it good and when is not good to be skeptical?

The word "skeptic" has origins in ancient Greece and the philosophy of Pyrrho. It is derived from the root sound "spek" which meant to look but more specifically to inquire and reflect.

Skepticism has evolved to simply mean doubt, which has its benefits and costs. Trust and doubt is regulated by the ventromedial prefrontal cortex in the brain, which tends to decline beyond 60 years of age.

This is consistent with reports from the National Institute of Justice estimating that 12% of adults over 60 are exploited in financial crimes each year. It also explains why highly intelligent patients with injury to this brain region are more likely to fall victim to seemingly obvious online scams.

But when it comes to skepticism in the broader sense, perhaps we could upgrade our lenses. Generally speaking, we tend to be skeptical of anything that falls outside our worldview and overly welcoming towards that which resides within it.

With subtle meliorating, we can exchange some of our near-sightedness for far-sightedness when it comes to our outlook on life and the nature of things in order to strike a healthier balance that is cautiously optimistic, happily dissatisfied and taking our own thoughts with a grain of salt.

Music “Sunset Serenade” by Ethereal Ephemera and episode artwork on website by Emily Dawn.

Hypothetical HiberNation and Rebirth
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Thank you for your support!

Perhaps seasonal affect disorder and winter blues were selected by evolution to help mammals, including humans, withdraw and survive the harsh outer conditions.

Meditation is looking for the inner light, a mini version of the winter solstice. The winter solstice is a mini version of a longer dark period in the world like the pandemic.

Therefore, the equanimity cultivated through contemplative practice prepares the mind to accept the cycles of life and nature and respond wisely.

After long retreat and outer difficulty, there are signs of hope and rare reminders, like the grand planetary conjunction, to look to the stars at night. Rebirth is coming.

This episode considers some evidence and benefits of human hibernation and draws parallels with meditation.

Also, you are invited to reflect on what gifts we have been gestating and would like to give when the time is ripe to birth into the world.

Music “A Calming Influence” by Bing Satellites and episode artwork by Emily Dawn.

Frustration Displacement and Replacement
frustration (by Emily Dawn)

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The etymology of the word 'frustration' traces back to 1500's Latin 'frustratio' which meant a deception.

It's Medieval origin is also relevant in these troubling times as the road ahead is not only fraught with uncertainty due to the novel pathogen but also some groups' novel sense of deception... whether from authority or society or history or even themselves.

However, inside the soil of hardship lies the seeds of clarity. With proper attention and understanding, a real breakthrough is possible with the potential for a blossoming of transformation on the other side - personally and collectively.

If life were really but a dream, then what would be the goal?

If the point is to "wake up," then sailing merrily, merrily down life's stream might delay things. That pleasantness is likely to uphold the reverie and bind you to the dreamboat.

Hence, the wisdom of frustration...

(music "Drifting Light" by Bing Satellites and episode artwork on podcast website by Emily Dawn)

Real Friendshp
Friendship by Emily Dawn

This little gift is my last of 2020 and all about friendship - what really matters.

Thank you for 50 episodes! Your support in the form of listening, sharing, rating, reviewing and at https://www.patreon.com/kindmind is greatly appreciated.

Friendship is not just a relationship that we have with another person, but a way of life.

It is one of four qualities of true love found in the Yoga Sutras and other texts of Eastern philosophy. Wisdom traditions often proclaim
friendship to be the highest form of love because there is more care and less expectation.

There is some intersection with the birth of the self-help literary movement in the West, which is often attributed to writer and lecturer Dale Carnegie, whose wildly popular book "How to Win Friends and Influence People" was published in 1936 and remains one of the bestselling books of all time.

Within, he advises to become genuinely interested in others and states, "you can make more friends in 2 months by being interested in them, than in 2 years by trying to make them interested in you."

In this time of unprecedented upheaval, political discord, class tension and economic disparity - an already dangerously lonely society finds itself facing even more psychological and physical distance.

The wise, in many times and places, have encouraged seekers not to ask, "who is a real friend?" but rather, "am I a real friend?"

Music “Divine Influence” by Bing Satellites and episode artwork on website by Emily Dawn.

Breath is the Root of Inspiration
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Among all the metabolic and visceral processes in the human body - such as digestion and circulation - breathing is unique in that it can function voluntarily or involuntarily. It can be regulated autonomically by the medulla in the base of the brain or controlled consciously in the higher cortex.

This dual-network for respiration is a unique gift of our biology and may be at the root of inspiration when breathing involves the intention to be conscious. Both "respiration" and "inspiration" share the same Latin etymology and contain the core word "spiritus" which means breath.

Deep, conscious breathing is central to many forms of meditation and has been shown to slow down brain waves. It is precisely in the relaxed state of mind that the probability for insight increases according to scientific studies.

Many artists are familiar with chasing the muse and the pursuit of intense feeling. It is quite common that creativity begins with emotion, but it may be limiting to believe it requires it. That notion is probably reinforced by the wisdom of the reverse - emotion can require creativity in order to be processed and released in a healthy manner.

Thus, this episode explores the deeper meaning of inspiration and how all people can be more creative by turning attention inward.

Melodies emerge on a piano not by adding more keys but by highlighting novel patterns that always existed. Poetry springs forth not from new words but by connecting the known words into ever-present constellations of meaning.

Similarly, meditation and calmness of mind enhances the brain through neuroplasticity. This allows the tripartite of inspiration (evocation, transcendence and actualization) to reveal and open once-obscure neural pathways in order to live more creative and fulfilling lives.

(music “Mysterious Ways” by Bing Satellites and episode artwork by Emily Dawn)

Seek Elegance Over Luxury
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Often times, elegance is conflated with extravagance or opulence. There is a relationship insofar as all three involve style, but those other two are meretricious whereas elegance is actually something akin to their inverse.

In elegance, the outward style is simple but behind the appearance lies something powerful and substantive.

In nature, think of the uncomplicated beauty of falling snow. At a glance, it is quite plain in form and color and yet upon closer inspection, one finds countless unique snowflake designs containing exquisite symmetrical patterns. The same can be true of a forest from afar or the ocean or the desert - and the depth of life and meaning within.

Seeking elegance is not synonymous with seeking luxury.

Encounters with elegance can be difficult to put into words. In other disciplines like physics, great scientists have merely suggested "you know it when you see it" like in famous equations E=mc2 or F=MA. A few common letters point to far-reaching theories of special relativity and the laws of motion.

fMRI studies of the brains of mathematicians reveal activation in the same regions associated with the pleasure of viewing a beautiful painting, when their eyes are shown formulas that are simple but powerful and self-reported as elegant.

In life, perhaps "you know it when you feel it."

This episode explores the way of elegance as it relates to the art of choice and leading a life of inner goodness.

Music “Eight Hours” by Bing Satellites; episode artwork on website is by Emily Dawn; podcast logo by Jon Marro.

Tightrope of Patience
Tightrope of Patience

They say patience is a virtue, but it is impatience that society seems to nurture. Technological developments have greatly reduced the times of travel, communication and the fulfillment of desires - reinforcing our expectations for quick results.

However, the pandemic crisis has forced most people to slow down and wait for the storm to pass. If ever there was a time when we needed more patience, it is now.

Psychologists have recently began to study the wellness enjoyed by patient people. They have also identified three kinds of patience: interpersonal flexibility, enduring periods of hardship, and tolerating daily hassles.

This episode explores the health benefits of all three and offers simple yet effective strategies for cultivating patience in our lives.

Music “Ethereral Ephemera - Escape to Dreamscape II” by Bing Satellites. Episode artwork by Emily Dawn

Live Free or Dialogue
live free or dialogue

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"Dialogue" is a Greek word. "Di" implies two and "logos" translates as meaning.

So much communication around difficult topics quickly deteriorates into debate, argument and judging - especially on social media.

Even the word seeming benign word "discussion" means to strike apart, similar to percussion or concussion.

A dialogue is an open and respectful conversation with the aim of finding new meaning together and adding more context. It is not a zero sum game but rather a win-win process.

Music is by Bing Satellites "Ethereal Ephemera - Escape to Dreamscape I"

Episode artwork on the website is also the logo to the youtube video conversation series "Live Free or Dialogue" (https://www.youtube.com/michaeltoddfink) and was designed by Cunningham Falconer.

What's Your Sign
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Please also subscribe to the new youtube channel for Michael Todd Fink: https://www.youtube.com/channel/UCbMY1FFV6x7ooIpWApY0YBQ

This episode considers the role of synchronicity, or meaningful coincidences, in finding our way in the world and how they can help us design our life.

with “Music For Dreams” by The Lovely Moon produced by Bing Satellites and Brin Coleman. Episode artwork by Emily Dawn.

To Accept is to Receive
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One of the most important ways we can improve mindfulness in our everyday life is through acceptance. Acceptance is part of the practice of open awareness in the present moment.  It means allowing experiences to come and allowing them to go – both pleasant and unpleasant. It also involves assenting to the reality of a situation and letting go of what cannot be controlled or changed.

Music “In the Mysterious Distance” by Ethereal Ephemera. Episode artwork by Dove Dahlia.

In Spite of Fear
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Courage and fear are not really opposing emotions. Fear is more of an involuntary response like inflammation or fever. Courage is a principle or virtue that guides a person towards right action and overcoming fear in order to live whole-heartedly.

Hence, the root word of courage is cor which means heart.

Music “Deju Ju All Over Again” by Bing Satellites. Episode artwork by Dove Dahlia.

Go with the Overflow
noosphere (by Dove Dahlia)

Money can be funny and studies reveal the subtle isolating effect that even the image of it can have on human behavior.

In Daniel Kahneman's monumental book "Thinking Fast and Slow," he highlights the disconcerting results from different priming experiments. For example, when subjects could see monopoly money in the background or stacks of cash on a computer screen-saver, they took twice as long to ask for help with a problem and picked up significantly fewer pencils when the experimenter pretended to clumsily drop them - in contrast to those subjects not exposed to the trigger.

More troubling, people were asked to set up two chairs for them and another as part of a "get-acquainted" conversation while the researcher left the room to retrieve the guest. Money-primed subjects placed the chairs an average of 15 inches farther apart than the control group.

In most cases, money on the mind can promote self-reliance and individualism but trigger selfish behavior and disconnection from others.

There is nothing bad about money. It is very useful. People sometimes say "money is the root of all evil." That is not actually the complete verse. "The love of money.." or craving for this one type of energy - purchasing power - is the problem. And now we have some scientific insight as to why that attachment can be socially harmful.

In the spiritual philosophy of abundance, too much attraction to money can actually be limiting by narrowing one's idea of how resources may be accessed and generating an overall attitude of lack that leads to operating from a sense of scarcity in life.

(Music “Light in Summer Air I” by Ethereal Ephemera and episode artwork by Dove Dahlia)

Kindness is also Contagious

This is a very serious public health situation and for countless people it is also an intense psychological test. My heart goes out to all who are sick or love someone who got sick or died and all who are very anxious in this uncertain time.

Just as this outbreak started in one region and has since spread exponentially, so too fear and panic can go viral. When then sun is clouded over in the sky, sunflowers look towards each other for the light.

Similarly, in times of darkness we need to be able to count on one another. Many have reached out to me for guidance and insight and have requested some perspective that hopefully will bring some calm in the midst of chaos.

Episode artwork by Dove Dahlia

Code to Joy
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Studies suggest that, on average, we have 3 times more positive experiences each day than negative ones. Because of our evolutionary tendency to give more weight to the negative and because of the hedonic treadmill (pleasant experiences lose their mood enhancing power once habituated), this may not seem like the case.

But there is more to it. We have learned that sympathy and empathy are mostly relevant for feeling with others during suffering.

However, in certain Eastern spiritual traditions, there is a practice known as "mudita" or sympathetic joy. It means to rejoice during the virtue, success and well-being of others.

Think of how helpful this could be in an era when social media highlight reels often have the opposite effect for friends - somehow leaving the onlooker feeling diminished, which then can disincline those people from sharing their joy.

New psychological research identifies this as a primary reason why our joy does not grow. Discussing positive experiences with supportive friends has a much greater impact on life satisfaction and well-being than simply thinking about it.

A flock of geese rotates positions in the "V" and they fly farther together because of the boost from the lift of those in front. Similarly, imagine communities knitted together with threads of sympathetic joy, ready to rejoice and then share so as to keep elevating the whole.

This episode explores sympathetic joy to the world! ...and the difference between that and happiness and pleasure as well as other clues from the search for joy in the brain.

(Music by Ethereal Ephemera “Somewhere in the Light” and episode artwork by Dove Dahlia)

Which Way to Forgiveness

62% of Americans report that they could use more forgiveness in their life. New research is helping our understanding of the link between forgiveness and physical health.

A study published in the journal "Psychology and Health" in 2009 found that random cardiac patients with coronary heart disease who underwent forgiveness training were able to improve blood flow to the heart. They were at less risk of pain and sudden death when compared to a control group, which received the standard medical treatment and only counseling about diet and exercise.

Emotions can be an obstacle to forgiveness. fMRI experiments reveal activation in the emotion centers of the limbic system in the brain when one considers forgiving someone. This likely indicates feelings of anger and hurt, and negative emotions can disrupt rational thinking in the prefrontal cortex. Thus, it can complicate the process.

However, when subjects are guided through fictional scenarios in which they were wronged and then forgave, the anterior cingulate cortex lights up and functions as a bridge between the perception and suppression of moral pain. So, just as we have biochemical mechanisms for reducing physical pain, forgiveness may be a pain reliever for moral distress.

Forgiveness seems to be one of the more misunderstood words in the language of spirituality and healing. This episode explores in more depth what it is and what it is not.

Forgive: GIVE yourself the gift of moving FORward

(Music “The Illuminoid” by Chris Russell and episode artwork by Dove Dahlia)

(C)hanging in the Balance

We are surrounded by a cult of busyness, and Americans today leave a collective 650 million unused vacation days on the table annually with an overall economic impact of approximately $236 billion.

From childhood, the pressure to compete, achieve, succeed and stay productive is now so strong. Combine that with the fear of missing out and how can people, especially young people, justify just sitting in meditation or sauntering in nature?

This picture is quite different for some of our European counterparts. In France and Germany, for instance, employees use almost all of their paid time off. France federally mandates 25 vacation days and even passed a law allowing employees to disregard work email when not at work.

This episode explores the deeper significance of equilibrium in the body and environment, equanimity in the mind and what kind of higher balance we ought to seek, in spite of cultural limitations, in order to optimize fulfillment and well-being in life.

(Episode artwork by Dove Dahlia and music “Beyond the Veil” by Ethereal Ephemera)

Mature Means Ripe
guidance (by Dove Dahlia)

Psychologically speaking, maturity basically means the ability to respond to the environment in an appropriate manner. Sounds simple. But, how does one respond in an appropriate manner to a political, societal or any other environment when it seems so dark, chaotic or dysfunctional?

To answer, let us come back to the word maturity and trace its roots in search of deeper meaning. The etymology of spiritually charged words often reveals important messages that are hidden over time as words and their applications evolve.

The English word maturity has its origin in Latin. Maturus means “ripeness” which is a description specifically for fruit. What is the difference between ripe and unripe fruit? Unripe fruit is hard and bitter while ripe fruit is soft and sweet. Metaphorically, hardness means rigid and bitterness means unforgiving. Softness is not weakness but rather represents flexibility and sweetness implies kindness. Those are the qualities of maturity.

(Music by Lee Rosevere and episode artwork by Dove Dahlia)

Adding Context To Addiction
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Addiction is a major health crisis in America, and everybody knows somebody struggling with drugs or alcohol.

23 million Americans suffer from a substance use disorder yet only 11% receive treatment. 75% of women and men in treatment for addiction report histories of abuse and trauma.

This episode explores how addiction fits into the model of disease and its cultural and spiritual implications along with guidance for building empathy and reducing stigma.

(Episode artwork by Dove Dahlia and music by Lee Rosevere)